Zero-Sum Nirvana

I look forward to emptying, then throwing away, containers. For example, I buy a carton of milk. There’s a cap and that little plastic attachment thing, to be torn off and tossed. The sense of relief is immense, the way Hercules might have felt after completing one of his trials. You think I exaggerate? No siree, Bob. There is one less thing in my house. Or, what about buying a box of cereal and then, when it’s halfway through, eagerly removing the half-used cereal in its bag and recycling the box? Totally orgasmic. Even more so is finishing the cereal and dumping the bag as well even though it’s not recyclable. Could this be what is meant by emptying ourselves in order to make room for God, or God’s emptying Himself to make room for us? Pretty profound, huh?

Likewise, buying a computer and disposing of the box is very Zen. Never mind that new object in the house, probably unnecessary. Or what about buying six lowfat mint ice cream bars and eating them all at once just in order to justify getting rid of the box? Sounds nuts, but to each his or her own, right? There are so many examples. Too bad there isn’t another way to gain such deep satisfaction in life, or from life. It is like eating a lot of food in order to take a big dump: the feeling of emptiness after is heavenly. Maybe this is what is meant by nirvana, the big blowout. Plumbers love me; trash companies do not. With the focus on nothingness, who needs being? Wake up, J.-P.!

I fly through the void, buying to discard, discarding to achieve self-realization, starting over each week starting. Who woulda known this is the meaning of life!